DIRTY CLOTHE

Hi everyone,
This is my story,
I LOVE YOU even though I do things YOU hate.
I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to break your heart,
I never wanted to break your heart,
When I met you the beginning of last year
My life was a mess and you changed it around with your profound love
I had never known such a love
I abandoned the life I used to live
So I could be with you forever
And I was more than pleased to accept you
I wanted to be wherever you were
I wanted to know your thoughts
I wanted everything to do with you
And I really loved everything about you
For once in my life
I was certain that I had made the BEST decision
Even though I didn't chose you
But it is you who chose me

What a privilege!
Twas to be counted  favored,loved,chosen,redeemed,blessed
Beautiful! I tell you

So here I am in the new year,
My life is pathetic
I cannot say it is worthy of you
Yet I am so sorry
I wish we could be like we used to be
How I loved the word that you always spoke about me
How I wished my friends, strangers would encounter your unfailing love
And now it is I, who is longing for your unfailing love
It is I, lost again,
I have been entangled by the things of the world,

I have stopped reading the word you gave me
I have found myself idle many times
My mind has wandered
One morning I could wait
The next morning I could not wait anymore
I started to masterbate and to watch pornography
Although I confessed the sin
Quickly masterbation and pornography became solutions to my problems
Quickly I was polluting the temple of the Holy Spirit
I knew I was, did I care ? Of course I did
I was doing the things you hate!!

My heart was broken and it was drowning in hopelessness
What is the point? I would ask myself angrily
My life is a script already written
There's nothing new under the sky
I mean I chose a few seconds of pleasure over You
How could I?
How could I live with myself?

Oh God, I just don't want to repeat sin
Not only I but my children too
I look at the sins I have committed in my life
And I really feel pity for my children
I have been thinking a lot about generational curses
And I really feel pity!
Now God you know I wish I could change that,
I wish I could break them

<sigh>

You told Cain, that sin was crouching and he should subdue it and be its master.
I must subdue sin and be it's master!

Hmmm...
Lord Jesus Christ,Forgive me
I know I have overcome and God I know I am free of masterbation and pornography
Let the weak say I am Strong,
Let the poor say I am Rich,

Yes I am child of God and still human
I do not stop experiencing the ups and downs of life because I am born again
But because I am in Jesus Christ,He is my wisdom, He is my victory
And though many times I will fall and fail,be as it may.

I will get up, shake the dust off and keep running the race
My God has taught me that masterbation and pornography is wrong
And because It is wrong to Him,it is wrong to me too.
I never want to stand before you Lord,with my own self entitled righteousness because of the 'good' things I have done or the 'good' person I am.
My own righteousness  is like a dirty clothe.

Thank you Jesus Christ for YOU are my Righteousness.